Insomnia
by Anachronistic
Summary: Ran thinks his nightmares are the work of a certain sadistic telepath. Yohji thinks he's crazy. YA
1. Insomnia

[A/N: Hi. ^_^ Well, this chapter is just a slightly redone version of An Assassin and White Shaman which, of course, is no where anywhere near belonging to me in any way at all. The rest of the chapters will be entirely original... well, as original as I can be using some else's characters. Heh.]  
  
[Just Y/A for now, but I don't hear anyone complaining.]  
  
[I can't get over the haunting feeling that "Insomnia" is a movie. It probably is.. and a book, too. Anyway, I don't own anything named "Insomnia" and this has nothing to do with it unless by some incredible coincidence it does.]  
  
[Anyway. Yohji POV. He's the lighter of the two and I needed some kind of drama/angst relief.]  
  
[Enjoy. Have a cookie.]  
  
Chapter 1 Insomnia  
  
I knew we were getting a new member; no news there. We all met him at a mission the night before. I don't really know why he was there, but I don't think it matters so much. Ken saw him first, and got into a fight with him within the following two minutes. That's Ken for ya. Then again, he probably isn't all to blame. The new guy was pretty fiery, too. Still is.  
  
What I didn't expect was that neither of them got it out of their system that night. Too bad I was out of the house the following day. Omi tells me I missed quite the fight. By the looks of the place when I got back, I'd say I did, too. I'm not sure of the details of what went on, but I never felt any sort of urge to know.  
  
I remember it rather well, though. I came home late that night. Well, later than usual. I had been having some serious nightmares lately, and there is nothing better to kill a nightmare than insomnia. I was actually in a good mood that night. If I had been in a bad mood, I would have definitely stepped right over the unconscious redhead, thus possibly changing the coarse of my life.  
  
Maybe I exaggerate. Who I am to figure out destiny? Anyway, enough of this prequel crap. On with the actual story.  
  
Upon opening the lock on the door of the Koneko, I knew right away there was something off; I couldn't get it open all the way. Never being a very patient person, I forced it open and heard a loud rumble of objects slide across the floor.  
  
Damn, the place was turned inside out. I was surprised Omi could sleep knowing in the back of his mind that the shop was left in such a condition. Through all the mess, though, one thing caught my eye first. Sometimes I think about just how odd the circumstances of our meeting were.  
  
I recognized him the minute I saw him passed out on the ground; the redhead from the other night. Even unconscious and bruised, he still had that invincible attitude about him. The night before, it took the three of us combined to keep him down, and I still had to put pressure on my wire to keep it from loosening around him. This looked like the work of one of Ken's welcoming parties. I got one, too.  
  
Bruised and bleeding was not the way I expected to find our valorous and impulsive new member, but then again, I learned to take life as it comes. I felt somewhat charitable and, seeing as neither Ken nor Omi seemed too concerned with his fate, I picked him up and dragged him to my room.  
  
Kami, was that hard or what! He wasn't heavy at all; that's not the problem. My major concern was how to actually pick him up and get him to the desired destination. He was a guy, so I couldn't carry him Superman style like any chick, and I wasn't about to make him the defenseless damsel- in-distress and throw him over my shoulder. Dragging him up the stairs by his legs was actually the option I considered the longest.  
  
I stood over our new member (no one had mentioned his name to me yet), and looked around to see if perhaps we had an audience. When I was content that the coast was clear and that Ken and Omi were in fact asleep, I wrapped an arm around the redhead's back and slipped the other under he's knees. He felt cold.  
  
"Ok, Lois.." I murmured and made my way up the stairs with him. This trip proved to be rather smooth much to my surprise.  
  
When I got to my door, the real Houdini trick proved to be getting my key out of my pocket and into the lock without the use of either of my arms. It doesn't take a trained assassin to know that would never work. I placed the new Weiss gently on the ground and felt him stir before I let go of him. Looks like he may be waking up soon. I pulled my key out of my pocket and expertly unlocked the door within seconds. I was trained to do that sort of thing pretty fast. We all were.  
  
Anyway, I picked him back up and kicked the door closed as I walked inside. Hard part over, I thought as I deposited him onto my bed. Little did I know that that was actually the very easy part. Nothing was ever as complicated with Ran when he was asleep as when he was awake.  
  
I pulled up a chair next to the bed and plopped down on it. Great. Just when I thought I could give this sleeping thing another go, I have someone else completely occupying my bed. I sighed and pulled off my boots. I removed my jacket and tossed it to the nearest pile of clothes. My hair was down because that's how I usually like it when I go out, but on a casual basis, it was far too distracting. I found a hair band and pulled it up into a comfortable ponytail.  
  
The redhead in my bed stirred and mumbled something. Dreaming, are we? I feel your pain.  
  
All of a sudden a shower sounded great. Maybe he'd be awake when I got back, and I could just shoo him out of my room and take my long awaited nap. I left my room quietly and went down the hall to one of the two bathrooms the three... uh, make that four, of us share. No fun details here, folks.  
  
After my shower, I went on a treasure hunt for the sweats I usually slept in. That is, when I don't collapse in my usual attire. They were under my bed, in case you were wondering. When I pulled my head up from under the bed, the first thing I heard was the word "Aya" coming from our new roommate's bruised lips.  
  
"Aya, eh?" Now this was getting interesting. Not only did he dream, but he dreamt of a woman. Is that a coincidence or what? I looked down at the temporary occupant of my bed. Hah, interesting term. How many "temporary occupants" has my bed had thus far? Ran, of course, was there for entirely different reasons. Alright, I'm getting ahead of myself. I hadn't learned his real name yet. As a matter of fact, I hadn't even gotten as far as his pseudonym.  
  
Anyway, when I looked down at the temporary occupant of my bed, I realized that Ken had been pretty rough on him. His lip was still bleeding a bit, and there was a large cut on his eyebrow. Can't have him bleeding all over my pillow, now can we?  
  
I made a quick trip back to the bathroom and brought back a moist towel and a box of Band-Aids with me. I sat back down in my chair and started fumbling with getting the box open.  
  
"No.." sighed the redhead and turned towards me. I thought he might've woken up, but the look of pain flashing across his closed eyelids made me rethink that. "..Aya.." he added as his fists tightened around the bed sheets under him.  
  
"Aya, Aya, Aya..." I sighed and moved the towel to wipe the dry blood off his lip. He gasped as I touched him, but I think it had less to do with me than with what was going on in his mind at the moment. All of a sudden, though, he got very quiet and still. I moved the towel over to his forehead, and he calmed almost completely; as if the nightmare were over.  
  
I pulled out two small Band-Aids and placed one on each cut. I felt my hands shaking, which was highly unusual. I'm the most composed person I know. He just seemed as such a fine porcelain doll. If I pushed too hard, he might break. I briefly wondered how Ken managed to throw these punches at him without worrying that he'll just shatter into pieces.  
  
Well, I've done my job. I stood up to put the towel away, but I wasn't even half way out of the room when another sharp gasp from the redhead stopped me in my tracks.  
  
"..No," he said, barely audible to me. I put down the towel and Band- Aids on the nearest table and went to sit back down next to him. I put my hand on his forehead and became royally freaked out when he completely calmed down again. Alright, enough of this game.  
  
"Aya-chan!" I said in my most cheerful 'I'm-not-an-insomniac' voice. His eyelashes flickered and he looked up at me. He appeared cute and innocent for about a quarter of a second. "Yo."  
  
"Who are you?" He sat up in my bed and looked around as if he'd just fallen from the sky.  
  
"Kudou Yohji, but just Yohji to you. Could be a little more courteous; you have no idea how hard it was getting you up here."  
  
"Where...?"  
  
"In my room, Red. And that's my bed you're currently occupying so shoo so I can get some sleep. Besides, you need to make up with Ken and help him clean the shop."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Just full of questions in the morning, aren't we? How are you feeling, by the way? You were out of it pretty bad. I thought we might have to take you to the hospital if you didn't get up soon."  
  
"That woman.. and then the shop.." He held his head and kept his eyes fixed on his lap, totally ignoring my concern. Pleasant kid.  
  
Woman? Oh.. "Birman?"  
  
"Is that her name?"  
  
"You really don't know anything at all do you?" I clicked my tongue and placed my hands on my hips.  
  
He glared at me. Oh this one looked like a ray of sunshine. "I was attacked."  
  
"I know, I know." I sat down next to him on my bed, giving him my smoothest smile. He doesn't need to think we're all assholes. "It's a little welcoming Ken likes to do. I got one, too."  
  
He stood up and begin walking out of my room.  
  
"Hey! I told you my name. Won't you return the courtesy?" I frowned at him, but he didn't respond. "Well, in that case I'll just call you Aya then." I was definitely not anywhere near serious with that.  
  
He suddenly stopped and looked as if he had completely flipped out. He marched right back to the bed and grabbed me by my shirt. Fiery. "She told you everything, didn't she? What are you trying to do? Make me say it?!"  
  
I gave him my best disarming look. "Birman said nothing to us about you, but I was hoping you could tell me. You were saying it in your sleep."  
  
He let go of my shirt and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Aya will be fine."  
  
I almost choked on my own air. "You're not.. serious?" Of course, he didn't even bother answering. He turned around and walked right out of my room. I looked after him for a few moments and then just laid out on my bed.  
  
"Aya, huh?" I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "No point in using a match to melt a glacier." 


	2. Melting Glaciers With Matches

This is a story about the night I learned Ran doesn't joke.  
  
Chapter 2 Melting Glaciers With Matches  
  
"You know I can't live without you." Maybe, just maybe, this time she'll stay. Maybe she doesn't understand how vital she is to my life. Maybe if I just beg enough.  
  
She walked nearer to me and smiled at me as if nothing were wrong. "You need to learn, Yohji. You'll never be happy if you don't move on."  
  
"If that's so then why do you keep coming to see me every night?" I felt so helpless. I took her hands but they didn't feel quite the same.  
  
She laughed a pleasant little laugh as if I had said something silly. "Honey, I'm not real," she said with a giggle.  
  
My eyes widened for a moment with the realization of what is happening.. again. "You know there is no woman in the world that could replace you." I feel tears welling up, but that's nothing new.  
  
"You don't need to forget me because even the most painful memories are precious. They make us better people," she explained and placed a hand on my cheek. "You just need to find a way not to torture yourself for it. Bad things happen to people all the time and it wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself forever."  
  
"Watch me." I sighed into her hand.  
  
Her eyes narrowed for a moment and she became serious. "Please, Yohji. Let us both finally rest."  
  
I gasped, knowing that this was another good-bye. I wrapped my arms around her. "If I hold you now, you'll be there when I wake up."  
  
"I won't," she promised and faded away.  
  
"Asuka.." I felt myself fall to the ground, but before I reached it, I woke up with a start. She wasn't in my arms, just like she promised. Great. Just when I get over the insomnia, I wish I hadn't.  
  
I needed a cigarette. Bad. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and reached blindly for the pack I always kept on the nightstand. Right where it always is. Good, old, trusty cigarettes. They never abandon me. And then I suddenly felt very stupid for thinking that.  
  
I got up and searched around for a lighter. It must be somewhere in some pair of pants. Alright, think Kudou, think. Last night I didn't have it on me because I had to keep asking people for a light. Annoying, but a good way to pick up women. I know I had it the day before but now they're... I gave up with the logic and just started flipping every pair of pants in the room. One of them was bound to have it, and sure enough, one did. I picked up the lighter from the ground and looked at it triumphantly.  
  
I pulled out a cigarette and placed it in my mouth, stuffing the rest of the pack in between by hip and the band of my sweats. I needed fresh air, which was kind of ironic since I was going to fill it up with smoke anyway. I opened up the back door of my room that led to the balcony and stepped out.  
  
Well, lo and behold. Who else to be sharing my midnight air with than dear 'Aya'?  
  
"Hey, Ay~a," I said, stressing the last syllable as I walked up beside him.  
  
"What do you want?" He didn't even turn to look at me.  
  
"Just a cigarette," I said holding my arms up in surrender. "Want one?"  
  
He looked over at me as if I had just said the weirdest thing. "Hn," was the response.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes," I said and handed one to him. He studied it like he had no idea what to do with it. I raised my eyebrows and took the cigarette out of his hands, placing it in his mouth before he could figure out what I was doing.  
  
"Weird hour to be up, ne?" I said as I lit it for him.  
  
"Hn." Oh yea, real conversationalist this one is.  
  
"Dreaming of the real Aya again, are we?" Let's at least try to get some sort of emotion out of him.  
  
Sure enough, I get the death glare. Ouch. He was quickly making that a hobby. "That's none of your concern."  
  
"I'm an ex-PI. It's my nature to be concerned where I have no place to be." I smirked at him and leaned on the edge of the balcony.  
  
"Doesn't mean I have to tell you anything," he said, keeping his eyes far away from me.  
  
"Yea, but I should warn you, I usually find out anyway." He didn't respond. Instead, he took the cigarette out of his mouth and examined it. "Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it, Aya. Nightmares are regular visitors among Weiss. We all have our hidden demons."  
  
"You, too?"  
  
Well, that surprised me. He sounded almost.. innocent, or naive. Something that definitely didn't fit him. I had to smile. "Why do you think I'm out here?" He looked like he understood all of a sudden and placed the cigarette back in his mouth. "Yea, me especially, I think. I'm trying to decide which is better: sleeping with nightmares or just giving in to insomnia."  
  
"What are you choosing right now?"  
  
"Well, I thought I might give sleeping another go, but it's not any better than it usually is. I don't want to run away, but facing it is too hard." I sighed and looked down at my hands. I never had any problems talking about this. Asuka would want me to be able to talk about it. She always made me talk about stuff. Aya wasn't asking for details, though.  
  
"What time is it? It feels like I've been out here forever."  
  
"About 2:00 last time I checked."  
  
"Seems like everyone in the world is asleep."  
  
"Eh, someone somewhere must be getting some sun right now," I reasoned.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"So tell me, Aya. What haunts you at night?" I figured I'd go for it, but I wasn't really expecting any serious answers.  
  
He thought for a moment, reluctant to say anything. "Every night, a telepath goes into my head and makes me relive the worst day of my life."  
  
I laughed and turned around so my back leaned against the edge of the balcony. "See, I knew you had a sense of humor somewhere in there." Wow, did I deserve the death glare I got for that one. Who the hell would take that seriously?  
  
Aya looked up at me, piercing icicles through my head. He then dropped the cigarette to the ground, stepped on it and walked away.  
  
"What? Was it something I said? Hey! Aya!" Yea, no luck. Off he went, back to his room, angry, bitter and with ever right in the world to be that way. Kami, I'm a jackass. I bet Weiss isn't looking too well to him right now. Ken redeemed himself with rice balls, but I figured I'd have to have something better to smooth that over with.  
  
Good job, Mr. PI. 


	3. Home With Aya

Chapter 3 Home With Aya  
  
"Hello, ladies!" I called to our fan club as I grabbed an apron to take over Ken's shift. A collective squeal was heard throughout the assembly.  
  
"Oh man, is it just me or are they referring us to their friends?" Ken whispered to me as he pulled off his flower shop gear.  
  
I laughed and leaned on his shoulder. "Eh, you get used to 'em."  
  
"Which reminds me!" Ken suddenly pulled away, grabbing his soccer bag from the ground. "You have a shift with Aya today. It's his first time around the, uh.." He motioned to the girls, at a lost for a good collective noun.  
  
"Oh, I'm sure they'll love him," I said as Ken pulled on his sneakers.  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of!" He called to me as he got up to leave the shop.  
  
I laughed. "Ja ne!" He waved to me and was on his way to the park. I sighed and looked around the shop to see what had to be done first. There were about five minutes before Aya's shift officially started so I figured I'd let the girls know what to expect.  
  
"Well, ladies, I have a special surprise for you today," I said to them, leaning on the counter by the cash register. There was a collective whisper among the crowd.  
  
"What's the surprise, Yohji-san?" One girl in a high school uniform called out.  
  
"Let's play a game. I'll let you guess," I said, winking at her.  
  
"You're finally single?" A girl from the back of the crowd called out to me.  
  
"Oh, I'm never completely single."  
  
"Has Omi-kun broken up with his girlfriend?" Another shot in the dark. I briefly wondered where that came from seeing as Omi most definitely did not have a girlfriend. Unless the chibi has been keeping something from me. I raised an eyebrow in my contemplation.  
  
"No," I finally answered. "That's not the surprise."  
  
"Hmm," said a middle school girl that stood near me and tapped her chin. "Have you gotten a new worker?"  
  
"Bingo!" I said, smiling at her. Yet another collective whisper and a few squeals broke out amongst the girls. "And you'll get to meet dear Aya in just a few minutes."  
  
The girls suddenly all looked up at me with perhaps the most serious faces I've ever seen on them. "A girl!?" One called and almost fainted.  
  
"Yohji-san, tell us it's not true!"  
  
I laughed. Wow, did I laugh! Well, you can't blame them for thinking that Aya was a girl, but still. The irony! They all looked at me as if I had just fallen through the roof, wondering what I could possibly be finding so amusing.  
  
Before I had a chance to object, all the girls suddenly fell into a stunned silence. I looked up to see what had caught their attention and saw Aya gracefully descending the stairs into the flower shop.  
  
"This is Aya, ladies!" I said, gesturing towards the bitter redhead. A united gasp was heard throughout the shop. Perhaps even a few of the girls collapsed. Oh yea, Aya was crowd-pleaser if I ever saw one.  
  
"Aya," I said, looking up at him, "the ladies." I gestured to the girls.  
  
"Are these all customers?" He turned to me as he pulled an apron over his head.  
  
"Not quite," I responded, "more like.. admirers."  
  
"Hn," he said to me and then turned to face the girls. "If you're not going to buy anything, leave!" And so began the infamous 'buy something or get out' speech.  
  
"Ah, he's so mysterious!" Someone from the back of the shop commented.  
  
"And gorgeous, too!" Her friend added.  
  
"I knew they'd love you," I said to Aya as I flipped through the arrangement orders that Ken left behind for us.  
  
"How long do they usually stay?" He seemed to only be interested in getting rid of the fan club.  
  
"For a while before school and for an hour or two after," I replied and handed him the orders. "If you want, I'll take care of the walk-ins and you can do the arrangements."  
  
"I've never done arrangements before," Aya confessed, looking down at the orders in his hands.  
  
"Believe me, it's a piece of cake. Just get the flowers they asked for, de-thorn the roses," I paused for a second. "Aya, please do not leave the thorns as some sort of vengeance."  
  
He glared at me. "What if I run out of a certain type of flower?"  
  
"There's plenty in the back in our little makeshift garden. After you're done getting the right kinds, just tie a pink ribbon around it or something cute like that. You'll have a hang of it by the end of the day," I assured him and took my spot behind the register.  
  
My day was perfectly average. Even with the new recruit, nothing noteworthy happened at the shop. I was; however, interviewed by several mesmerized school girls about the enigmatic redhead. I told them that I know as much as they do, and they oh-ed and ah-ed all over him.  
  
Aya, as predicted, got the hang of the arrangements in no time. He seemed to actually have a natural flare for them. As a matter of fact, Aya seemed like the kind of person who had a natural flare for just about everything. We've all seen him wield that katana around, and that takes a certain amount of skill. Besides, the way he moved around the shop, or anywhere for that matter, seemed to be graceful and fluid enough for a dancer. I found myself eager to see how he'd handle his first mission.  
  
As I was later to find, Aya is also somewhat of an intellectual. After we closed up the shop for the day, he seemed to have disappeared. I was planning on making up for the stupid way I acted the night before, but I couldn't find him anywhere so I settled to see him in the morning. Instead, I decided that I'll let the TV lull me to sleep tonight.  
  
I waltzed into the living room and, surprise surprise, there sat the mysterious Aya himself, on the couch.. reading.  
  
"Always the last place ya' look," I said as I plopped down on the couch next to him.  
  
"Hn," he replied and shifted his feet underneath him at the added discomfort of me taking up his space.  
  
"What'cha reading?" I looked over his shoulder but got no actual response. Not even a "hn". He just moved the cover of the book into my view so I could read the title, his eyes not leaving his current sentence. I didn't bother seeing what it was. I didn't ask for the title just to know the title.  
  
Now this part is where you'll start seriously thinking I'm crazy, but this is my story and I don't care how crazy I sound. Anyway, I looked over at Aya and he kind of reminded me of home. Not my home, Kami no. I mean just your average mom, dad, and 2.5 kids home. A small lamp served to shed some light on him and his book as it ignored everything else in the room, leaving him illuminated in his little corner. He had his legs tucked under him, and his head rested on the back of the couch, and he had that 'there is nothing in the world but this book' look on his face. It just made me think that back when he was normal, back before Weiss, he had the perfect little family with the perfect little house.  
  
"Well, I hope you don't mind some background noise," I said and stretched out on the remainder of the couch not yet occupied. I pulled the remote from under my ass where it seems to always be when I need it and flipped on the TV. I kept the volume low as not to disturb Aya's reading, but I doubt that if the volume had been at full blast would he even look up from his book.  
  
I surfed through the channels, but everything bored me. I eventually settled on an old detective show. I got a kick out of those. They always managed to get it all backwards.  
  
After about an hour of being the mindless television zombie I'm so good at portraying, I felt something touch my shoulder. I looked up and saw that Aya had fallen asleep with his book settled comfortably on his stomach. Wherever he kept his hand before, it slid down to my shoulder, unconsciously, against his will. I was about to wake him up when I suddenly felt very languid. I didn't want to get up, or move for that matter. It felt kind of.. calming, there on the couch.  
  
In fact, before I knew it, my eyelids took more and more time opening and closing with each blink until it became too much of a chore to keep them up. 


	4. Cure For Insomnia

Chapter 4 Cure For Insomnia  
  
The first thing that came to my mind was the 'where the hell am I?' question upon waking up the next morning. Believe it or not, this is a huge deal. I couldn't remember the last time I slept so well that I couldn't remember where I was when I woke up... without being under the influence of lots and lots of alcohol.  
  
I let my eyes open just a bit and regretted it immediately upon feeling the sun shine into them. Another very big deal. I hardly ever slept until morning.. again, without the alcohol. I gave it another try, this time being extra careful. I looked up and was actually a bit shocked to see Aya sleeping in a sitting position next to me. Now it was all starting to come back.  
  
His book had slid down to the floor, and I bet anything he'll be pissed for loosing his page when he wakes up. He still had his hand on my shoulder, and I suddenly felt very reluctant to move it. It was strangely comforting to share your nightly hell with someone else. Perhaps that's why I always try to find someone to spend the night with; the nightmares are the worst when you're alone. Then again, it could very well be the hormones.  
  
Who am I kidding anyway? I sat up, letting Aya's hand fall to the couch. I leaned over him and turned his reading lamp off. Feeling the movement, his eyes opened and immediately shut again. That damn sun.  
  
"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." I stood up and stretched my arms over my head.  
  
Aya opened his eyes, with much more care this time, and glared at me. "We've slept here all night?"  
  
"Yea, surprised as I am?"  
  
Aya didn't respond. Instead, he just placed a hand on his forehead and looked around as if he had lost something. Finally, his eyes rested on his fallen book. He picked it up and frowned at it, placing it carefully on the couch next to him.  
  
"So," I said, sitting back down, "how'd you sleep?"  
  
He looked up at me for a moment as if in deep thought on how to answer that. "Well," he finally said as if the answer were a complete surprise to him.  
  
"No telepaths screwing with your head?" I must be significantly stupider upon waking up.  
  
Aya shot me a death glare and was out of the living room before I had a chance to open my mouth in self-defense. So the telepath thing was a touchy subject. Well, I'm sorry for not taking it completely seriously. It is a bit hard to believe.  
  
I sat back against the couch and stretched my legs out in front of me. I thought about the situation and came to the conclusion that Aya must have recently been through something that has left him with a lot of guilt. Now he's manifesting this guilt inside his mind by making himself relive it every night. I've taken a few crash courses in psychology. Can't you tell? How the telepath fits in, though, is beyond me.  
  
My eyes trailed to the couch, and I noticed that Aya was in such a hurry to get the hell away from me that he left his book behind. Well, looks like I have to return it to him. I grinned to myself and grabbed the book, making my way up the stairs without a second thought.  
  
"Aya," I said as I knocked on his door. No response. I sighed and leaned against the wall. "You left your book downstairs."  
  
After a moment of silence, he finally decided that his book was worth more than the cold shoulder he was giving me. "Leave it by the door."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Aya, this is childish. You actually won't even open the door for me?" No response. "Well, if you want your book, you're going to have to let me in because I have no intention of leaving it here. In fact, you have exactly one minute to open this door before I walk away with it, and you'll have to come get it yourself."  
  
Sure enough, the knob turned, and the door opened just a crack. Aya stood behind it, in the shadows of his dimly lit (if lit at all) room, holding out his hand in a demand for his book back.  
  
"You're not going to let me in?"  
  
"Give me my book."  
  
"I came all the way up here just to give this back to you, and this is the sort of gratitude I get?" I perched my hands on my hips and smiled slyly at him. There hasn't yet been anyone able to resist that smile.  
  
As predicted, Aya dropped his arms to his sides in defeat and retreated back to his room, leaving the door open. Taking the hint, I let myself in and looked around the place. It was my first time in his apartment, and I was surprised at how cold he managed to get it in there.  
  
"What do you want?" Aya suddenly broke the silence and brought me out of my contemplation. He was leaning on the wall next to his window and looking out, obviously avoiding eye contact.  
  
"What's with the silent treatment?" I asked, sitting down on the edge of his bed so I could face him. That didn't help very much, though, as he was obviously trying hard not to face me.  
  
"You really are dense," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
I started flipping through his book, just to have something to do while we talked. "Alright," I was ready to give in, "I acted like an ass, but give me a chance to redeem myself. Tell me more."  
  
Aya's head finally turned to my direction, but not exactly with the expression I was hoping for. It was a sort of cold anger mixed with a frozen pain; not the friendliest expression, but I got the idea that he wasn't exactly the friendliest person. "You think I'm insane," he finally said.  
  
"No, I don't," I lied for the sake of argument. "I just think you're torturing yourself. I've been doing it for years ever since.." I would have gone into my entire Asuka story had he not cut me off just then. Probably a good thing, too.  
  
"You have no idea what it's like not to be able to control your own mind." He said it coldly and seriously. "To have some else dictate what thoughts you think all night, every night. It's hell, and there's nothing I can do about it because the more I push him away, the more he pushes back!" His voice was angry now, almost yelling at me; however, he managed to keep his tone steady throughout everything.  
  
"Aya," I said, trying to calm him and buy time to think of something good to say. "You said you slept well last night."  
  
His expression seemed to soften a bit. "I did, for the first time in so long."  
  
"And why do you think that is?" I asked, hoping to get some of the heat off me. He didn't respond, keeping his eyes focused on the ground. "Well, I have been told on occasion that nights spent with me are generally more pleasant," I joked, trying to diffuse the tension that spread thick inside the room.  
  
His eyes shot up and met mine. All of a sudden, I couldn't stand that intense gaze on me so I focused my attention on his book. I didn't even realize I was still holding it. I started idly flipping through the pages when something bright red caught my eye. It was a bookmark. I turned to the page it held simply for the sake of not having a better page to turn to. I pulled the bookmark out, holding his spot with my thumb, and studied it. It was handmade, probably by a child, with thick coloring paper and decorated with stamps of various colors as well as the word "Ran" written along the center in a scribbled handwriting.  
  
"You never mind your own business, do you?" Aya asked, noticing how concentrated I was on the bookmark.  
  
"No, not really," I replied casually. "So, you're Ran?"  
  
Aya didn't respond right away, but he rarely ever does. He finally moved away from the window and went to sit down next to me on the bed. He took the bookmark from my hand and ran his thumb along the side. "Yes," he finally answered, "but you aren't allowed to call me that."  
  
I acted hurt. "What if I ask nicely?"  
  
He looked at me with puzzlement in his eyes. "What difference does it make what you call me?"  
  
"'A rose by any other name', right?" I laughed. "But I'd like to think that I can call you by your real name. Besides, 'Ran' sounds so much prettier than 'Aya'."  
  
I got a glare for that one, but no actual response.  
  
"So, who's Aya?" I inquired, hoping to get a little further into that head of his.  
  
"My sister," came the response, much faster than usual. "She made this bookmark for me."  
  
"A sister, huh?" I asked, leaning back onto his bed. I pulled my arms under my head and watched him from the corner of my eye. "That's unusual. Generally, Weiss doesn't really have any family. Omi hasn't the slightest clue what happened to his; he can't remember them. Ken changes the subject every time family comes up, but we all get the feeling he was very close to his mother, whatever might have happened to her. Me, on the other hand... well, I've never had much of a family anyway. Too bad; a sister must be a nice thing to have."  
  
Aya suddenly became very still and quiet, and I felt as if I had been babbling on forever. "Yea," he finally mumbled and grabbed his book, placing the bookmark firmly back into its spot. He shut the pages and placed it on the nightstand next to his bed.  
  
"Hm. Aya," I said, contemplatively. "Why would you chose to kill in the name of someone you love?" I sat up on the bed and perched up my arm on my knee, resting my chin on my hand.  
  
"Are you finished aggravating me yet?" He snapped at me, eyes as cold as his voice.  
  
"Yea, I think I've overstayed my welcome," I laughed and got up to leave the room. "See you tonight, then A~ya."  
  
As I was walking away, I could almost feel his glare boring into the back of my head. I didn't especially expect him to take that comment seriously, but half of the time, I'm not sure myself rather I mean something seriously or not. Years and years of natural teasing kind of numbs your ability to do that. Although I wouldn't mind sacrificing waking up next to the ice god himself for another peaceful night like last night. 


	5. The Night I Got Drunk And Lost My Keys a...

This is the story of the night I met Ran's katana. On a deeper level, this is a story about the night I learned that you can only drink away common sense, not your conscience.  
  
Chapter 5 The Night I Got Drunk And Lost My Keys and My Mind  
  
"Hey, Omi! When's this shift over?" I called to him from across the shop. I had the closing shift again, but this time with Omi. I was anxious to finish because I've had this craving all day for a night out. All the costumers have filed out already so I figured we must be closing soon. A clock around here would be helpful.  
  
"We have about ten more minutes until we close, but if you're in a hurry to go somewhere, I can finish up for you."  
  
"Thanks, kid!" You can always count on Omi. "I hope it's not too much trouble," I said as I walked over to him.  
  
"I think I can handle ten minutes by myself, Yohji-kun," he laughed.  
  
"That's my Omi!" I ruffled his hair, grabbed my keys and practically disappeared out the door. I wasn't planning on going to any clubs, or I would've dressed up. Just felt like getting out, anywhere, preferably somewhere with lots of alcohol. I look good no matter what I wear anyway, ne?  
  
I slid into Seven's driver's seat and pulled out onto the road. Now this is freedom. There is no responsibility when I go out like this; no Weiss. Don't get me wrong, Weiss is my life, but sometimes I just have to get away; to go somewhere where I don't need to think.  
  
I drove like that for about an hour before I decided to pull over. I found this bar, nothing fancy, but the alcohol's there and so are the women so I'm not complaining. I walked inside to find two men in the middle of a brawl, one passed out on the ground (rather it was from the fight or the beer, I don't know). Two others were sitting around the bar, looking as if life's answers were swimming somewhere inside their glasses. Yea, this place was a real dump, but I didn't expect any more.  
  
I looked around to see if I could spot any ladies worth spending the night with. The bartender was a woman, but that was questionable so I decided to just stay away from that. Across the room, there were two women dancing to some crappy jukebox music, with each other. I wasn't particularly in the mood for a challenge. Then someone caught my eye. She was sitting by herself at a small table in the darkest corner of the bar, looking completely out of place. Perfect.  
  
I walked over to her table and pulled a chair out. "Mind if I join you? Everyone else here is giving me the creeps." That was actually partially true.  
  
She looked up at me with that 'where did you fall from?' look. "I guess.." she answered and looked down.  
  
I sat down backwards on the chair, facing her. "Come here often?" I asked and laughed.  
  
She looked up at me and smiled a bit. "Do I really look that out of place?"  
  
"Take that as a compliment." She looked nice when she smiled; more genuine than most people. She had deep brown eyes and smooth black hair. Nothing unusual, but it worked on her. "Care for a drink?"  
  
"No, I don't really drink."  
  
I couldn't help myself, that was just too funny. "What are you doing in a bar, then?"  
  
She looked down as if she didn't want to answer. "That's none of your concern."  
  
Heard that somewhere before. "Alright, how about a soda, then?"  
  
"That'd be nice."  
  
I got up and went over to the bar. "Hey," I said, calling the bartender over. She looked over at me and pulled out a glass.  
  
"What will it be?"  
  
"A beer and a soda."  
  
"What kind of beer?"  
  
I scrunched my eyebrows at her. "Do I look like a person who would care? The kind with alcohol in it."  
  
She frowned at me but didn't say anything. She poured some beer into one glass and pulled out a soda from underneath the counter. She handed me both and I walked back to our table.  
  
"Thank you," said the woman I just met as she took the soda. What manners.  
  
"I just realized, we haven't been properly acquainted." I extended my hand. "Kudou Yohji."  
  
"Mayako," she said, leaving out her last name. Hey, if I were her, talking to me, I'd leave out my last name, too.  
  
"Lovely name," I commented, taking a drink.  
  
"You don't look like you belong here, either," she said, trying to sound daring.  
  
"Me?" I laughed. "I don't belong anywhere, sweetheart."  
  
She seemed surprised by that answer, but then her eyes softened and she looked contemplative. "That's what I want. I want to not belong anywhere."  
  
"That's an odd thing to want."  
  
She nodded. "Well, I don't like where I do belong so I want to get away."  
  
"And where is that?"  
  
She paused for a moment. "With my husband."  
  
Damn. "Why wouldn't you want to belong there?"  
  
"I don't think he loves me anymore."  
  
I briefly wondered if the bartender put something in that soda because five minutes ago, Mayako absolutely refused to tell me anything about herself, and now I'm getting her life's story. "Is that why you're here?"  
  
"In a way," she said, taking another sip of her soda. "He cheats on me, and I'm here for payback."  
  
I finished off my beer in one swing. "Give me a second, would you?" I asked and went over to the bar. I ordered two more beers; I'd be needing them. If there's one thing I don't do it's cheat on someone I'm in a serious relationship with, and I wasn't sure if I would allow her to either.  
  
"I'm not scaring you this much, am I?" She laughed, noting the beers.  
  
"No," I lied and added, "please continue." So, she did. She talked about her family and how unhappy she's been lately, and I downed beer after beer just because I knew I wouldn't be able to get into bed with her sober. Yes, I, Kudou Yohji, have a conscience.  
  
At some point during her confessions, I leaned in and kissed her. If she didn't stop talking about her husband, I'd never have the nerve to sleep with her. Tell you the truth, the rest of that night was pretty much a blur. I was drunk, after all. I remember that she kissed me back, but I kept thinking that she has a family to go to. So, it nagged me that she has kids somewhere waiting for their mom to come home. Then it nagged me that if she tried, she could probably salvage her relationship with her husband, but instead she's doing the same horrible thing to him that she hates him for doing to her. And what drove me completely insane is that she probably has some pretty house somewhere filled with people who love her, and here she is throwing it away. That's what I thought about the whole time I was kissing her.  
  
I pulled away, told her to go home and left. I was cursing myself the whole way back to the car. The drive home was pretty much a big blur, too. That's actually a scary thought now that I think about it. By some miracle, I got home safely with myself and Seven in one piece.  
  
I used the stairs on the outside of the building because I knew the flower shop would be closed and I didn't have the key to get in. I pulled the keys to my apartment out of my pocket and tossed them up and down as I made my way up the stairs. Bad idea, seeing as it was very dark, I was very drunk and my coordination went to hell. Just as I was approaching my door, I dropped my keys and they fell over the edge of the balcony.  
  
"Sonuvbitch," I cursed in a slur. I looked over the edge where my keys dropped only to find myself getting very dizzy. I pulled back and leaned against the wall. "Damn it." I hit it with my fist and slid down to the ground. Well, I could either stumble back down the stairs and look for the key, or I could break down the door.  
  
I got up and looked over the edge of the balcony again. It was dark as hell. Break down the door, it is. I pretty much just ran into it, and it hurt a lot. I sank back down to the ground, holding my bruised arm, and groaned. This sucks. I wasn't about to give up, though. Kudou Yohji didn't get where he is today by giving up. So, drunk as I was, I rammed into it again and yelled some sort of profanity I can't recall right now. When the world stopped spinning, my attention focused on the scowling redhead frowning at me from outside his room.  
  
"You're making too much noise. If you're trying to kill yourself, just jump off and let everyone sleep."  
  
I pulled myself off the ground and limped towards him. "Oi Aya, you know you weren't asleep anyway."  
  
He glared at me, but we both knew I was right. "You're drunk."  
  
"Yes, I am," I laughed.  
  
More glares. "So why is it that you're ramming yourself into the door?"  
  
"I lost my keys, you see," I explained and pointed to the ground two stories down, "somewhere in that dark abyss down there."  
  
"You're an idiot."  
  
"Yea, I know."  
  
"Well..." he said after a moment of silence.  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"Well, aren't you going to keep throwing yourself at the door?"  
  
"Aya, you're heartless," I sighed. "You really came out here just to watch me make an ass out of myself?"  
  
"No, I can do that anytime. I came out here to tell you to shut up, but since you're already making an ass of yourself, I figure I'll get some entertainment out of it."  
  
"You know what?" I said, angry at the world. "I'd rather sleep out here than ask for any help from you!" And so I proceeded to lie down on the ground like the incredible idiot I am.  
  
Ran just watched me with a mocking look in his eyes. "No you wouldn't," he finally concluded and walked back into his room, leaving the door open behind him.  
  
"Yea, well if you think I'm just gonna take that from you and crawl after you like that, you're wrong!" I called to him, pretty much crawling after him anyway, in my state of unbalance.  
  
"Take your shoes off," Ran reminded me as I walked into the room which was dark enough to rival the night outside. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Ran was a vampire.  
  
"Aya?" I pulled my shoes off and threw my jacket on the floor.  
  
"What?" He responded as he laid down on his bed.  
  
"Did I really wake you up?"  
  
"No," he said and turned so his back was facing me.  
  
I sat down on the bed next to him and looked over to see him trying to scoot as far away from me as possible. "Nightmares?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
I laid down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. "Funny how we always end up sleeping together, ne Aya?"  
  
"You touch me and I'll kill you."  
  
"Oh, you can't possibly mean that, darling," I smirked and leaned over him. I was drunk, remember?  
  
He glared his best 'freeze hell over' glare as a response.  
  
"It's ok, you can glare at me all you want," I grinned and ran my fingers along his face. "You're pretty when you're pissed anyway, which is all the time, so maybe you're just pretty all the time." I'm very much aware that I was making very little sense.  
  
Ran then reached around me and pulled something off his nightstand. I realized it was the cold, shiny blade of his katana as it pressed against my neck. "You keep that damned thing on your nightstand?" I asked, quickly pulling away from the near vicinity of the weapon.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
A short pause followed by a quiet answer. "Protection."  
  
I sighed. Yea, Ran doesn't joke. I fell asleep a few minutes after that, and I'm guessing he did, too. Did I overstep my boundaries? Was it too much? What worries me even more is the fact that that's just the part I can remember. 


	6. Good Mornings

Chapter 6 Good Mornings  
  
I woke up the next morning with the definition of a throbbing headache. I slowly dared to open my eyes and scanned the room for signs of familiarity. After you start waking up in weird motels more often than in your own room, you develop a certain ability to sum up your surroundings rather quickly. I knew right away that I was in Ran's room, but how I had gotten there was beyond me. I remembered the girl at the bar, and the image of my keys kept popping up in my head. I was brought out of my contemplation by a harsh, shooting pain in my arm. What the hell was I doing last night?  
  
I looked over to my left and saw that Ran had fallen asleep next to me. Most of this was news to me in the morning. It took me a while to remember as much as I do now. He was lying down on his back with one arm over his head and the other resting on his stomach. My attention was then brought to the fact that I had my fingers entangled in his hair. How I managed to do that without getting the katana shoved down my throat, I'll never know.  
  
I watched him until he woke up. Partially because Ran never looks angry when he sleeps, and partially because I felt that if I had moved, I would have just fallen over and died. "Good morning," I said when he finally looked up at me.  
  
"You're still here?" He asked and sat up, untangling my hand from his hair.  
  
"Want to fill me in on what happened to me last night?"  
  
"Not especially."  
  
I sighed and folded my arms under my head. "I didn't do anything stupid, did I?"  
  
"Let's just say that 'anything stupid' would be an understatement," he replied and stood up.  
  
I laughed. "Answer this one seriously, Aya. Did I do anything I'd need to apologize for?"  
  
He took a while thinking about that as if he were evaluating my actions on a scale of his morals. "No," he finally replied.  
  
Then I suddenly really felt like throwing up. My sincerest apologies for ruining the moment. I stumbled out of the bed and went for the door to the interior hallway. I pulled it open and felt my way along the wall until I made it to the bathroom. I'll spare you the details, but when I came back Ran was already dressed and pulling on his shoes.  
  
"You're disgusting," he commented.  
  
"Would it kill ya' to be just a little nice?" I leaned on the doorframe. "Morning shift, eh?"  
  
"Hn." He pulled on his other shoe and started tying it up.  
  
"With Ken?"  
  
"No," he replied, not looking up from his shoe.  
  
"Omi?"  
  
"No."  
  
I pushed myself off the wall to stand up straight. "Oh come on, Aya! I can't work like this."  
  
He looked up at me and frowned. "And what do you expect me to do about that?"  
  
I crossed my arms over my chest. "You did that on purpose to teach me some sort of lesson, didn't you?"  
  
"Ken has practice, Omi has school, and I couldn't care less about teaching you anything." He stood up and walked past me, through the doorway. He stopped just outside and added, "You smell disgusting, too. Take a shower and come to work." With that, he walked away.  
  
"Oi, Aya!" I called after him. "I have feelings, you know!"  
  
"You have fifteen minutes!" He called back without turning around.  
  
I sighed and made my way back to my room only to realize that I still didn't have my key. I cursed under my breath and reluctantly trudged outside to look for them. They should be easier to find in the daylight. As I stepped outside, the sun hit me hard. The transition from Ran's room to the early morning was just hideous. I was blinded for a good five minutes.  
  
I walked down the stairs, shoulders slumped and feet dragging behind me. I looked down at the bushes where they could have fallen and started kicking them around. I'd be damned if this whole thing would get the better of me and have me crawling around in the dirt.  
  
After a while of fruitless searching like that, I decided that pride doesn't matter as long as no one sees me. I knelt down and started digging through the bushes, looking for anything shiny.  
  
"You're pathetic," said a voice from behind me. I didn't have to look up to see who it was.  
  
"Come to watch me look like an idiot, Aya?" I asked, casually sitting down on the ground with my arms perched on top of my knees.  
  
"No," he said, pulling something out of his pocket. "Came to give you the spare key," he said and threw a small, shiny object at me. I caught it in the air and looked at it in awe.  
  
"You had a spare key?"  
  
"Obviously," he sighed and turned to walk away.  
  
I pulled myself off the ground and went to follow him. "Then why didn't you just give it to me last night?" Not that I'm complaining.  
  
He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me, utter annoyance written all over his face. "Are you really this dense?"  
  
"No, I just want to make you say it." I grinned.  
  
"You're a child."  
  
I grabbed his arm as he went to walk away again, and he turned the evil ice glare from hell on me. Luckily, he didn't have the katana on him. "No nightmares when I'm there, right?"  
  
"He doesn't like you," Ran replied, calming his voice and letting his eyelids fall over his eyes as if he were trying to picture or remember something.  
  
"Who?" I reached up and ran my hand through his hair like before.  
  
He looked confused for a moment. "I don't know what it means," he said and let his head fall onto my hand.  
  
"What? I don't understand."  
  
Ran opened his eyes as if something had suddenly struck him and pulled away from me. "His name means 'Guilty'."  
  
"Aya.."  
  
"Customers," he replied and walked back to the flower shop, leaving me a little worried and a lot confused.  
  
I kind of stood there for a little while, watching him walk back into the store. I didn't really know what to make of that conversation. I don't know who this "Guilty" was, but I had a few educated guesses. If I were to place bets, I'd say it was the so-called telepath that didn't let Ran get any sleep. Then again, at this point, I still thought Ran had some major sanity issues to work out. A lot more would need to happen before I believed this telepath fairytale.  
  
I shrugged and played catch with my replacement key as I walked back to my room. My coordination was greatly improved without the alcohol flooding my mind. Even still, I threw it too high and I missed catching it by a few inches. No fear, I watched carefully where it fell so there were no problems finding it again. As I bent down to pick it up, a bright reflection of light shone in my eyes. I looked up to see my original key resting incognito behind a few twigs. I sighed at the irony and stuffed both keys into my pocket. I had a few ideas about what to do with the extra.  
  
After I got back into my apartment, I cleaned myself up and went down to the shop for my shift. "Good morning, ladies!" I called as I walked down the stairs. A few excited giggles, a few obsessive squeals, and a "Good morning, Yohji-san!" greeted me as I wrapped an apron around my waist.  
  
I think it's safe to say that Ran avoided me like the plague for the whole rest of the day.  
  
After our shift ended, I was hoping to get back to my room for more sleep, but Manx ended up visiting us instead. She winked at us and waved a folder around in the air. She quickly scanned the shop to make sure no one could hear her. "Mission," she said. Ran and I followed her down to the basement as Omi went to look for Ken.  
  
I shot Manx a suave smile and plopped down on the couch. When everyone was present, she turned on the television set. An image of Persia appeared on the screen.  
  
My memory isn't sharp enough to remember the comings and goings of the assignment word-for-word, but the basis was rather routine. We had two targets; the sleazy, corrupt owner of a suspiciously successful chain of car dealerships and his vice president, a scrawny pushover that was probably blackmailed into doing the dirty work. Apparently, he's had a handy blacklist of people to sell killer cars to. Very interesting method of assassination, if you ask me.  
  
Manx turned off the TV and gave us all a collective smile. She pulled five folders out of her bag and handed one to each of us, keeping one for herself. "The basics about your targets," she said, "their profiles, photographs, etc. As well as a detailed report of the places they may be tomorrow."  
  
Ken looked up from his folder and scrunched his eyebrows. "The mission is tomorrow?"  
  
"Yes," Manx said as her hands went to rest of her hips. "Neither of your targets are in Japan tonight. They have a private flight back down from an extended business trip tomorrow morning. Your mission will be tomorrow night."  
  
"Well," Omi said as he stood up and tapped the folder with his fingers, "that gives me enough time to get some more information about the locations."  
  
"Abyssinian," Manx said, focusing her eyes on Ran, who stood against a wall and watched the entire procedure. "This is your first mission. Any questions, perhaps?"  
  
Ran looked up at her, annoyed. "This isn't my first mission," he clarified and moved to walk out of the room. "I thought you knew everything about me."  
  
That puzzled me, and I made a mental note to ask Ran about it later. I didn't know he had any pervious assassin experience, and, as a detective at heart, I felt the need to poke my nose further into this. Although, I decided to leave that for later, when we can be alone. He's more agreeable when we're alone. 


	7. Bad Nights

Chapter 7 Bad Nights  
  
"Yohji-kun," Omi called from the hall. "Are you going out tonight?"  
  
I pulled the razor along my cheek, wiping away the shaving cream. "Yea, you can come in if you want."  
  
Omi's head sneaked in through the door. "I just wanted to tell you that we're closing the shop early tomorrow because of the mission."  
  
I watched his reflection in the mirror. "Are we leaving that early?"  
  
"Mhm, if we don't find our targets before dusk, we might lose them for another week. They're leaving again tomorrow night."  
  
I rinsed my face and turned to look at Omi. "Alright," I grinned, "does that mean I don't have a shift tomorrow?"  
  
"Right." He smiled at me.  
  
I laughed and ruffled his hair as I walked past him into the hallway. "You're a good kid!"  
  
"Hey, Yohji-kun," he called after me, and I turned around to look at him. "Where are you going?"  
  
"Gonna talk to Aya before I go out."  
  
"Drive carefully." Omi smiled at me. "There's supposed to be a storm tonight."  
  
"Thanks, kid!" I waved to him as I turned the corner to where the door to Ran's room was, dark and ominous.  
  
"Ay~a," I called as I knocked lightly. "I have a present for you!" I waited patiently for him to come and open the door for me; it usually took him a while, as if he were doing my a favor by letting me in.  
  
Finally, I heard the inside lock click and Ran pulled open the door. Almost dismally, gave me one embittered glace and walked back into his room, leaving the door open for me. "What do you want?"  
  
I walked in and closed the door behind myself. "Well, I have three orders of business with you tonight." I watched him with a smirk on my lips.  
  
"Three?" He asked, mockingly. "Perhaps you'll finally figure me out, then?"  
  
My smirk turned to a frown. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Dejectedly, Ran let himself fall onto the bed. "Go ahead, PI Kudou, ask your questions."  
  
"I'm glad you can be so cooperative." I joked and sat down on the bed, next to him. "My first question is about this morning."  
  
Before I even got to ask it, he had an answer for me. "I already told you more than I wanted you to know. I don't know any more. Don't bother asking." He kept his focus on the ceiling.  
  
"Alright," I sighed, willing to let that go. I let myself fall back onto the bed and turned my head to look at him. "Also, you said this won't be your first mission."  
  
Again, he had an answer before I had a question. "Crashers. I worked for them before I joined Weiss."  
  
"Crashers, eh?" This was definitely new. Looks like our dear Ran had an impressive résumé. "Why'd you leave?" I turned onto my side and rested my chin on my hand. This was about to get interesting.  
  
"That's none of your concern." Or not.  
  
Ran looked like he was remembering something; eyes half-lidded, focusing on something neither of us could really see. I was suddenly reminded of his first night here, only a couple of days ago. As I was fixing him up, I remember thinking that he looked like such a porcelain doll, and I wondered how Ken could have punched him without worrying that he'll shatter into pieces. I got that feeling again, and I couldn't help but run my hand along his cheek, even if just to make sure that he's real.  
  
When he got that distant look on his face, I knew it was alright to touch him. That's pretty much the only time he wouldn't glare or get the katana. He just laid there, peacefully, but it seemed like everything that he was thinking about was causing him pain. It hurt just to see that expression on his face. The Crashers, whoever they are, must have been an important chapter in his life.  
  
"What was the third thing?" Ran snapped out of his daze and turned his head to look at me.  
  
I didn't really know what he was talking about; too absorbed, if you know what I mean. He's got a pretty face. What can I say? "What third thing?"  
  
"You said you had 'three orders of business' with me."  
  
Oh, that! "Right!" I stood up and dug through the pockets of my absurdly expensive pants. I pulled out a key and waved it in front of Ran.  
  
"And?" He scrunched his eyebrows at me and pulled himself up into a sitting position.  
  
"I found my old keys today," I declared proudly.  
  
He stared at them, frowning. "So?"  
  
"I'm going to give them to you." I tossed him the keys, and he instinctively caught them.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Now who's asking all the questions?" He glared at me, and I laughed. "For safe keeping. Chances are that if I lose one set, I lose the other, too. They're safer with you."  
  
Ran looked down at the keys and then back up at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. "You're going out?"  
  
"Yup," I grinned and spun around on my heals. "How do I look?"  
  
"Like a prostitute," he told me, blankly, which made him sound very serious.  
  
"I'll take that as a compliment."  
  
"I didn't intend it as one."  
  
I briefly wondered about what I could have said or done to turn the bitchiness on. Then I think I suddenly figured out what the problem was. If I were in his situation, I wouldn't like me very much right now either. I sighed and walked back towards the door. "I'll be back early," I said as I reached for the knob.  
  
"I don't see why I should care," Ran replied, coldly.  
  
I slipped through the door but stuck my head back inside for just a second. "You can also feel free to make use of my keys whenever you'd like." With that, I stepped away and closed the door behind me.  
  
As I walked down the exterior staircase, I thought about what time I should be home so that Ran could get some sleep. I knew I didn't have to do this -make alterations like this for him- but I found that I was looking forward to coming home. I can't explain it, and it must sound ridiculous, but my demons don't haunt me when he's there. Judging from what I see, the same goes for him.  
  
The drive to my favorite club racked up about thirty minutes' worth, and that's already going way past the speed limit. I'll make a long story short. About half-way there, it started pouring. Omi nailed this one right on the dot. I wasn't worried, though, because when it started to really storm I was still on well-lit roads. The major problem came along when I got to the highway, about three-quarters way to my destination, and I couldn't see anything past the rain and darkness. To pile up my bad luck, this was just about the time when my trusty Seven decided, in its entirety, to stop running.  
  
I sat behind the wheel for a few more minutes, trying to make it start up, but it was all futile. I resigned myself to the fact that I'm royally screwed over and got out of the car. It's a good thing I'm generally a mild-mannered person because if I weren't I would have most likely thrown myself over the side of the road and down the cliff. I tied my hair back so that the wet strands would stay out of my face and prepared myself for a hell of a shitty night.  
  
From experience, I knew that there was a gas station only a couple miles up the road. I steered the wheel with one hand and pushed my whole body weight against the car. To spare you the details of this painful ordeal I'll just tell you that it sucked and that all I could think about as I pushed Seven up the road was how Ran would be tortured by his nightmares tonight.  
  
When I got to the gas station, I "parked" Seven under a roof and slumped wearily against her. I was thankful that, at least, the rain stopped pounding me. I breathed heavily as I wiped the water off my face and wringed it out of my hair. I looked up to see a large, greasy man standing in front of me.  
  
"Bitch broke down?" He asked through the cigarette in between his lips.  
  
"Yea," I said and pulled myself off the ground. The man, Rikiya as indicated by the little nametag on his shirt, was a good two inches taller than me and looked heavy enough to pick up my car and carry her back home for me. Not that I'd ever let him know where I live. I cringed at least five times.  
  
"Let's have a look at 'er then." He stepped up to the hood and popped it open. He looked through there for about a whole minute before he turned back to me and said, "Piss off anybody lately?"  
  
"Yea, lots of people. Why?"  
  
He motioned for me to come look into the hood. "You see this?" He was holding a wire in his hand that looked like it had just snapped. "This wouldn't normally wear out like that on it's own. Somebody's tryn' to make your night hell."  
  
"Someone was trying to kill me?"  
  
"No, if they wanted to kill you they woulda done a lot worse than this. Looks like they just wanted to piss you off."  
  
"Or stall me." I kill people for a living. A snapped wire is a welcome revenge. "How fast can you fix it?"  
  
"I can't," Rikiya said, wiping the oil from his hands. "At least not until I can find a wire like that one."  
  
Is it just me or is that ridiculous? "How hard can it be to find some wire?"  
  
"Hey, hey," he held his arms up in front of him in surrender. "This is just a gas station. I don't fix shit."  
  
"Great," I sighed and looked around for what I could possibly do now. Ran wouldn't be asleep anyway right? Might as well come get me. "Can I use your phone?"  
  
"Yea, it's inside."  
  
I walked into the small shop, well aware that Rikiya was a grand total of two steps behind me, and went for the phone. I dialed the number to Aya's room and let it ring a good ten times. He didn't pick up. That little bitch. I bet he knew it was me and didn't answer out of spite. I hung up angrily and decided to try Ken's room. Long shot that he'll even hear the phone let alone get up to answer it, but he was my last hope. He had his phone unplugged. Some friends I have. My options were now very limited. It came down to either walking all the way back home in the rain or staying at the station. "Can I stay here until morning?"  
  
Rikiya moved up next to me and grinned. "No problem," he said and suddenly grabbed my ass. If Seven weren't stuck here at the mercy of this man, I would have hit his kneecap so hard he wouldn't be able to get up for a good hour.  
  
"Never mind," I said as I walked out of the shop. "I'll hitchhike or something."  
  
And that's how I ended up walking along the highway with my thumb out, in the middle of the night, in the rain as cars drove by every fifteen minutes and ignored the crazy man on the side of the highway walking with his thumb out, in the middle of the night, in the rain. No matter how bad things looked, I didn't regret leaving the gas station once. Not one single time did I wish that I had stayed. Pervert.  
  
I walked for at least an hour until someone had enough pity on me to stop and pull over to the side of the road. The rain had stopped by then, and I was rather close to being somewhat dry. I pulled open the passenger door and stepped inside, practically passing out on the seat next to my savior.  
  
"Did your car break down?" My savior, conveniently, was a gorgeous blonde with a killer body.  
  
"Yea, what gave it away?"  
  
She laughed and sped down the road. We covered more ground in that car in ten minutes than I could have done all night. I told her the whole story of the wire, and the gas station, and Rikiya, and we laughed and joked about it all the way back to the flower shop. Her name was Misuni. About halfway up the stairs to my apartment, I realized I hadn't gotten her phone number. Then I realized that I didn't want it, and that bothered me intensely.  
  
By the time I got home, the sun was rising and I was just about ready to fall over and die. I pulled my key out of my jacket pocket and pushed it into the lock which clicked open nicely. I stepped inside to a pitch-dark room, messy with my clothes all over the floor, and inhabited by Ran who was lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling with a pitiful look of utter pain written on his face. 


	8. The Man On Your Balcony

[A/N: My deepest most heartfelt apologies for being the epitome of sloth that I am. Every single review I got for the last chapter had the word "UPDATE!" somewhere in it. Gottcha. ^_^' Also, I'd like to dedicate this update to annakas who just went on a psychotic reviewing spree.]  
  
Chapter 8 The Man On Your Balcony  
  
"Aya?" I said, disbelieving that he's actually waiting for me in my room, on my bed. Wouldn't exactly expect Ran to be the very forward type, would you? I kicked off my shoes as I threw my keys over somewhere onto the table next to my door and hung my jacket up on a hook.  
  
"You've been gone all night," Ran said, surprisingly quietly and without taking his gaze off the ceiling.  
  
Is that a guilt trip or what! "I know." I walked over to my bed and sat down next to him. He didn't move; he looked completely frozen. "You aren't going to believe the bad luck I had."  
  
"You said you'd be back early."  
  
I was, to put it lightly, taken aback by his persistence with this. This must have been one hell of a nightmare. "I know. I'm sorry, but Seven broke down in the middle of the storm and I had to push her all the way to a gas station like an hour away, and there was this pervert there..."  
  
Ran cut me off before I could finish. He turned his head to look at me. "He came last night, and you weren't here."  
  
"It was just a nightmare," I said, trying to be comforting but working to push the annoyance out of my voice at the same time. It's not like it was all my damn fault that I couldn't be here when he'd like me to. And I tried, too! That's what really got to me; I tried so hard to be here, and after all the shit that happened to me, he's still acting like I couldn't care less.  
  
"It wasn't a dream," Ran insisted and sat up to talk to me face-to- face.  
  
"If you say so." I resigned and laid back on the bed with every intention of getting to sleep with him at arm's length and without any more conversation. My head pounded.  
  
"You still don't believe me." I felt him move off the bed, and I forced my eyelids open to see what he was doing. Well, I'll be damned; he was walking away.  
  
"You must be shitting me if you're mad because of this." I perched myself up on my elbow to watch him walk lightly towards my door. He didn't say anything. "Oh, come on! I can't change my life around because you get nightmares!"  
  
Ran looked back at me, apparently unable to resist saying something in his own defense. "You don't understand," he said and walked out.  
  
I flopped back down on the bed, exhausted more from my conversation with him than from the whole night put together. How did he expect me to drop my nightly rituals so that he can avoid a bitchy telepath? I laughed into my pillow. How idiotic. Then I briefly thought that I have to convince myself that it's idiotic because if I started believing it I'd have to throw myself off a bridge for treating him like that. Well, good thing this 'nightmares in reality' philosophy is ridiculous then. Hooray for logic.  
  
I went to sleep with the conviction that I'm perfectly in the right on this safely tucked away in my mind. I was woken up some time later by a knock on my door. I dragged myself out of bed and trudged to answer it. It was Omi. He smiled at me from the hallway and said, "Mission."  
  
"How long do I have to get ready?" I asked, rubbing my face to get the feeling back into it.  
  
"Twenty minutes," Omi said. He had his pro assassin face on. Come to think of it, whenever a mission rolled around, he was always the most professional out of all of us. It's like he became a completely different person.  
  
"Twenty-five," I bargained.  
  
"Twenty."  
  
I sighed and smiled crookedly. "Twenty, then." Omi nodded and walked back down the hall, probably to Ken's room. Ken is rivaling my laziness.  
  
I figured I could take ten minutes to shower and then ten to get ready. I don't really have to look good for assassinating. I stepped into the hot shower and let the water wash away everything that's been happening over the past week. God, has it only been a week? Not even! More like four or five days since Ran has dropped into our lives, and I'm already taking a good one-eighty spin.  
  
I stepped out of the shower and pulled a towel around my waist. I walked back to my room like that. It's halfway decent which is good enough for me. Once I got to my room, I pulled some clothes on and threw my mission jacket on, buttoning it up. I snapped on my watch and searched for my boots, which were nowhere to be found. Must've left them by the front door somewhere so I walked down the stairs barefoot.  
  
Predictably, Ran was waiting for the rest of us in the downstairs hallway. He was standing perched up against a wall, all decked out in mission gear with the katana hanging portentously at his side. He looked up at me almost reluctantly.  
  
"Seen my boots?" I asked, more to kill the painful silence than anything.  
  
Ran closed his eyes in annoyance and signed, "You left them in my room when you were drunk."  
  
Damn. Didn't see that coming. "Thanks," I said miserably and turned around to walk all the way back up the stairs. As I approached Ran's room, the realization set in that maybe he left his room locked just to piss me off so I'd have to walk all the way back down, beg him for the key and walk all the way back up. I would've if I were him. I turned the knob, expecting this scenario, only to find that the door quietly slipped open. Well, he's less petty than I would have been.  
  
I walked in and felt around for a light switch on the wall to dispel some of this hideous darkness that swallowed everything in the room. I found it after some searching and let my eyes adjust to the sudden light. The boots were in plain sight, at the foot of his bed, as if he were expecting this exact situation. I sat down on his bed and began pulling them on.  
  
A shadow appeared in the doorway and I looked up in curiosity. "Whatcha doin'?" Ken asked, leaning against the doorframe.  
  
"Putting on my shoes," I said sarcastically.  
  
"Too much junk to keep them in your own room?"  
  
I laughed. Ken certainly had a way of saying things. "No, I left them here the other night."  
  
He raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Gottcha," he said finally and slipped out of the doorframe.  
  
"Wait." I looked up to see him vanish. "Got what?" He was already gone, though. What was that supposed to mean? I finished tying up my shoes and walked out of the room, turning off the light on my way through the door. I walked down the stairs towards where I found Ran before to see that everyone was ready and waiting for me.  
  
"Well, let's go!" I said and headed for the door. I reached for the knob and suddenly remembered that we have no car. I swung around, ignoring the evil gazes I was getting from everyone. "We have no car," I declared.  
  
"What?" Ken said. Ran's hand hovered ominously over the katana.  
  
"Seven broke down in the middle of the storm last night. She's at a gas station, being watched over by a perverted prick."  
  
Omi raised his eyebrows. Ken sighed, "Well, we can take my bike but I can only take one other person with me.  
  
"I'll drive, too," Ran announced and moved past me through the doorway. I was off the hook. I let Ken and Omi walk by me before I stepped out and locked the door behind us. I turned to see Ran getting into the driver's seat of his car and Ken pulling on his helmet. Omi stood next to me, waiting patiently for me to give him the key. Smart kid. I handed it over without question and immediately made my way towards Ken's bike. Omi shrugged and got into the passenger seat of Ran's car.  
  
Ran pulled out of the driveway as Ken watched me suspiciously. "You're not going with Aya?"  
  
"What difference does it make?" I asked and pulled on the helmet he handed me.  
  
"Whatever," Ken answered and swung one leg over the side of his bike. I followed example and did the same.  
  
Omi was navigating so Ken drove behind Ran's car the whole way there even though Omi had us all hooked up to communication devices in our headsets. We pulled up to a tall office building, and he gave us directions through our headphones. "Aya-kun will take the west side, you two take the east, and I'll set up in the basement."  
  
"Got it," I said into my microphone, and Ken pulled around the east side of the building as I watched Ran drive to the other end of the premises.  
  
We pulled off our helmets and got off Ken's bike. "Let's get this thing done," he said, partially to me and partially to Omi over the communication device.  
  
"I'm in," Omi declared within minutes. The kid was fast. "Wait for my signal before you go in."  
  
Ken made some conversation while we waited for Omi to disable the system. "So, who was that guy yesterday?"  
  
I pulled out a cigarette to calm my impatience for the coming adrenaline rush. "What guy?" I asked, honestly clueless.  
  
"The one that was on your balcony last night."  
  
I raised an eyebrow. "Aya, you mean?"  
  
"Probably not. Taller, long hair," Ken said, casually leaning against his bike. "I went outside cause I heard noises, but when I saw him I just figured it was someone coming to see you."  
  
Possibilities started running through my head. "I wasn't even at home last night."  
  
"Was it a robber?" Ken asked, smacking himself on the forehead for not thinking of that when he first saw him.  
  
"I don't think so," I answered. "If he was, he was a pretty bad one. Wasn't a thing out of place in my room."  
  
Suddenly, all the lights went out in the building and the small red signal by the door indicating an alarm system went out as well. "Alright, you're clear," Omi said, his voice reverberating through our headsets.  
  
Ken and I wasted no time. The door closest to us snapped open upon Omi's command and we slipped inside. He soon informed us that we were currently on the first floor of the east side of the building and that if we go up to the sixth floor we should come upon the office of one of our targets. He then clicked away from our headphones, probably to tell Ran where he can find his victim.  
  
This was all sounding pretty simple to me, and while I was glad of that, I was suspicious that something will go haywire. Something always goes haywire. Ken and I quickly made our way up the stairs.  
  
"Go down the hall on your right. It's the office at the very end. There are two security guards in front of the door." Omi's instructions were simple and clear.  
  
"Piece of cake," Ken said, and Omi, satisfied with the response, clicked over to talk to Ran. Ken and I swiftly ran to the end of the hall where, as predicted, we met up with two guards. My wire snapped out of its case before they even saw us coming and wrapped itself neatly around their necks, pulling them together and into a corner.  
  
"Don't move if you want to live," I told them and nodded for Ken to go in and take the target. He slipped into the office and the door closed quietly behind him.  
  
"Who are you?" One of the guards questioned me. There's always one who wants to know.  
  
"Weiss," I said. That should sufficiently satisfy his curiosity.  
  
"What do you want?" Or not.  
  
"Shut up," I said and pulled a little bit on the wire, only enough to draw a few drops of blood to keep them quiet. No need taking more lives than necessary.  
  
I heard a scream from behind the closed door, and Ken stepped out into the hallway right after, bloody bugnuks and all. "Oh my God," said the other guard.  
  
"Hey, knock them out," I said to Ken.  
  
"You're a saint," he told me as he banged their heads together. He knew it was either this or their deaths, and it was up to me to decide. They lied unconscious on the ground.  
  
"How was it?" I asked.  
  
"Cleaner than usual," Ken answered and clicked a small button on the side of his headset. "Bombay, come in."  
  
"Is Abyssinian with you?" Omi's voice echoed into our ears.  
  
"No," I answered. "Why would he be?"  
  
"I can't reach him on his headset. It might be nothing."  
  
"It might not be," I said, worry taking over me despite the fact I desperately tried to wave it away. "I'll go look for him."  
  
"Balinese, the stairs are back down the hall. Abyssinian should be somewhere on the seventh floor. Don't lose contact with me. Siberian, there is a fire escape to your left. It'll take you longer, but you'll avoid the guards this way. I'll meet you on your way down."  
  
"Got it," Ken said, but I was already halfway down the main hall to the stairs. I was on the seventh floor in no time, blindly looking around in the dark for any sign of Ran.  
  
"Bombay," I said into my microphone, holding down the button on the side that opened the communication line. "Where is the office of Abyssinian's target?" I figured it was a good place to start.  
  
"Two halls down from the staircase." Omi's voice came in clearly. "I still can't reach him," he said after a moment, innocent worry resounding in his words.  
  
"It's ok, kid. I'll find him," I said, trying to convince myself of the same as I let go of the communications button. I could see the office Omi was talking about, and the doors to it were wide open. There were no guards around. I walked in cautiously, and confusion as well as some unexplainable anger took over me when I saw what was happening inside.  
  
The body of our target lay on the ground in a puddle of blood, sliced across the chest. Ran stood over it in a trance, katana lying lifelessly by his feet. A man stood next to him with one arm around Ran's shoulders and the other hand holding his chin. Ran did absolutely nothing to stop this. I froze. The man turned to look at me.  
  
/Oh, it's you./ A voice ricocheted inside my head, and I felt like throwing up.  
  
[A/N: I don't know why I torture you so much. I really don't plan on ending chapters like this. It just happens. Honest.][Too bad I'm making Schu the bad guy. He's one of my favorites to write. Oh well, he's a sexy bad guy so it works.][How was my update time? Improved?] 


	9. Guilty

[A/N: Remember that this is in the manga timeline in which Ran's parents are killed in an explosion manned by Schuldig and Nagi (under Takatori's command), and Aya was not run over by Takatori's car; instead, she was knocked out by the debris falling from the explosion. Schuldig and Nagi were supposed to kill Aya and Ran as well. They thought that Aya was already dead, and Schuldig decided to keep Ran alive to let him taste "the sin of surviving." Oh, evil evil sexy Schu.]  
  
Chapter 9 Guilty  
  
Everything was coming together in my head, and I was not liking it. What bothered me even more sometime later was the realization that he knew everything I was thinking.  
  
"What's the matter?" He laughed, letting go of Ran's face but keeping his arm around his shoulders. "Didn't expect to see me here?"  
  
"Who are you?" I managed past the intense dizziness taking over me.  
  
/You know the answer to that already./  
  
"I'll kill you," I promised, hating the feeling of his voice inside my head.  
  
He laughed again as if he were enjoying himself immensely. "If you're into formal introductions, my name is Schuldig."  
  
I was never one for languages, but I knew enough of my German to know that meant 'Guilty'. I suddenly felt like an imperial jackass. Ran had been suffering something like this the whole time, and all I could do was telling him that he's insane. This man's name certainly suited him well. I reached for my wire with every intention of hanging him from the side of this building, but I found that my hands were unable to move.  
  
/You weren't really planning on doing something so radical, were you?/ He asked mockingly inside my head, reminding me of what he could do.  
  
"What do you want from him?" I asked, keeping my eyes focused on Ran. He looked as if he were only breathing and blinking on his own will.  
  
"Just some cruel and malicious entertainment." Schuldig grinned, running his fingers along Ran's neck. "You see, I killed his parents. Thought I killed his precious sister, too, but she ended up in a coma instead. Turns out for the best actually because if she had died, Ran would have killed himself, and I'd have no one to torture when I'm bored."  
  
I was shocked to see tears glisten on Ran's cheeks. There was a very unsettling feeling that came with seeing a person, who is so close to utterly emotionless, cry. "Psychotic bitch," I bit out, and Schuldig laughed, apparently taking it as a compliment.  
  
"And then you come along and ruin my fun because, for some insane reason, Ran thinks that I can't do anything to him while you're there."  
  
"Why should that stop you?"  
  
"It's a barrier, if you will. Most people don't do this because there's no reason in thinking that a telepath can't go into your head if you're within an arm's reach of some other random person. He's convinced, and I can't break that barrier of conviction."  
  
"So you resort to screwing up my car engine?" I asked, finally getting the drift of his game. He was obviously not much into physical combat, and being disabled, I wasn't much into it either. I had to keep my composure because a mental battle is what I was in for, and adrenaline does no good for something like that.  
  
"Well, I have to see him sometime. I was starting to miss my little lost lamb."  
  
I laughed. "Your little lost lamb will kill you if I don't do it first."  
  
Schuldig turned to look at Ran again. "That's right," he said into his ear in a low voice, just loud enough for me to hear too. "You are a killer, aren't you?"  
  
"No," Ran argued meekly; more of a plea than an argument, actually. His head tilted back a little bit. It was so absolutely heartbreaking.  
  
"Would dear Aya-chan say the same?" Schuldig grinned and pulled Ran's face back down to show him the body of the man he had just killed. I couldn't move. "What will she think when, if, she wakes up? Her parents are dead and her darling brother is a killer."  
  
Schuldig looked back up at me and moved his hands to rest at Ran's sides. /Careful, Balinese,/ his voice echoed cryptically in my mind, /or I might break your porcelain doll./ I almost threw up upon hearing that. He even knew about that thought! Then, suddenly, Ran fell to his knees as if his life had fled from him, and Schuldig disappeared into the darkness. On the plus side, I could move again.  
  
I ran across the office to where Ran had just fallen to the ground. I knelt down next to him and held him up to assess the damage. He seemed alright physically. He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at me. "Now who's insane?" He asked, seemingly trying to catch his breath.  
  
At that moment I felt as if I would never get his forgiveness for that, nor did I think I deserved it. "I'm sorry," is all I could manage out of my stunned stupidity.  
  
"Hn." Ran pulled himself up and grabbed his katana off the floor, pushing it into the holder at his side.  
  
"Are you alright?" I asked, disbelieving that he's able to shrug this off so quickly.  
  
"Fine." He began walking out of the office, and I followed him out. "Used to it."  
  
I pressed down on the side of my headset. "Bombay, come in."  
  
"Balinese," Omi's voice responded with a certain anxiety in his voice. "Have you found him?"  
  
"Yea, we're both fine, and we got the last target. How do we get out of here?"  
  
Omi heaved a sigh of relief. "Take the fire escape down. It's safer."  
  
I motioned for Ran to go towards the fire escape, and he nodded. "We'll catch up to you. You two can go on ahead without us."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yea, no sense in keeping you here overtime."  
  
"Got it," Omi said and clicked off. Ran and I made our way down the seven floors on the fire escape without saying anything. In fact, we got into his car and drove almost the whole way home without saying anything.  
  
As we pulled back into the Koneko, I broke the silence. "I want you to know that I really am sorry for not believing you. I feel like such a jackass."  
  
"As you should."  
  
Saw that coming. "Even though there's no reason that you should, and I'll understand if you don't," I stumbled over my words, "forgive me?" Ran pulled the keys out of the ignition, and we both stepped out of the car.  
  
"Yea," he said. Relief swept over me only to be replaced by more guilt. Even if he did give me his forgiveness, I knew that I still didn't deserve it. If anything, that forgiveness made me feel even worse than before.  
  
Omi and Ken were waiting for us in the front. "Aya-kun!" Omi ran up to us. "What happened?"  
  
Ran looked as if he couldn't find the words to answer so I answered for him. "The headset died so he couldn't communicate with us." Which was true to a certain point.  
  
"Well, everything seems fine!" Ken said and stretched his arms. "I don't know about anyone else, but I'm ready to oversleep my shift tomorrow morning."  
  
"Ken-kun!" Omi scrunched his eyebrows and Ken laughed good-naturedly.  
  
"Just kidding! Just kidding!" He said as we all walked towards the exterior staircase to our rooms. Omi and Ken had the two bedrooms on the third floor. They were up those stairs faster than lightening, probably desperate to get some sleep. This mission was longer than it should have been for the little work we had to do.  
  
Ran and I trudged heavily up the stairs, probably for the same reasons. He walked up ahead of me and had his keys out before I even stepped completely off the staircase. He slipped into his room, leaving the door open. I walked in after him.  
  
"Shoes," he said, "and don't forget them like last time."  
  
I obediently pulled off my boots and left them by the door. "Aya," I said, hesitating while I found the right words to say what I meant without screwing it up.  
  
"You don't have to keep apologizing," he said. He pulled off his jacket, hanging it on the hook by the door and watched me, waiting for me to say something.  
  
I realized that he did have a point. It would be useless for me to stress how bad I felt, but it just felt natural to express it as best I could. "Do you believe any of the things he says to you?" I asked as I unbuttoned my long jacket and hung it up next to his.  
  
Ran looked away from me and went to place his katana on its spot on the nightstand. I silently cursed it in my mind. "Sometimes," he finally answered.  
  
I pulled off my watch and belt and left them on top of his dresser. "I don't," I said in all honesty. He quickly turned around and shot me a questioning look. I shrugged and laid down on his bed with my arms tucked under my head. "I just don't."  
  
"I didn't want you to know all that," Ran confessed and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Everything that he told you."  
  
"Why not?" I wasn't exactly seeing the fault in me knowing this. "I'm on your side, remember?"  
  
"Every time he comes to me, I always feel like a child, and," he paused as I sat up to face him, "it's degrading."  
  
I wanted to tell him that none of this was his fault and that he isn't a killer like Schuldig said, but I knew if I started saying these things, I would end up sounding so fake. My hand seemed to move up to Ran's face and run through his hair of its own accord. What other ways did I know to comfort someone?  
  
When trying to help a wounded animal, you hold your hand out to hover just above it because you know that attempting to touch it will result in less damage to you than actually touching it if it doesn't wish to be touched in the first place. That's how my lips went to hover just over Ran's, testing to see if it was alright to continue. He suddenly looked as if he were attempting to throw his common sense into oblivion, and I took that as a green light.  
  
I kissed him just very slightly as I wondered why he was letting me do this and why I wasn't stopping myself. Then I realized that he seemed to take a sharp breath every time my lips pressed down on his. He was breathing through me, and that's why, you understand, I just couldn't stop. 


End file.
